They look so peaceful.
And have completely taken over my side of the bed.
If there is one thing I have learned, it's that parenting is hard. Really hard. I hit a point yesterday realizing that I have gotten into a situation that I don't like. I need to step back. The boys are yelling all the time, they're sassy, I'm constantly saying 'no', it seems they're always on a time out; it's exhausting. Out of ideas, I called my mom (which usually happens when I need advice on anything). We went through everything; the constant fighting between the two, how loud, rough and aggressive they can be, how listening seems to be completely optional for them, how I am uptight and yelling too often, etc....I felt a bit of hopelessnes.
Then, she hit the trigger. She asked, "how much time do you spend playing with them?" wham! That'll hit you where it hurts. I realized how caught up I have become in my own life. Maybe I've said "hold on", "just a sec", "in a bit" one too many times. All they really want is for me to pay attention, be present and interested. I try my best to address their issues while rushing to get ready for work and daycare in the morning, making sure things are done around the house, laundry, meals are ready and bills are paid when I'm home in the morning with Owen, making dinner, doing the dishes, more laundry, gardening, etc. in the evening.
"Mom, can we go hit some balls outside?" "In a minute, Owen!"
I know managing a family of four with two working parents, one of which is completely consumed in a new business venture, graduate school, baseball, softball, fishing, therapy, book clubs, social activities, birthday parties, etc is a lot. But, once that becomes the way of doing things, it seems normal. Instead, I want my kids to feel relaxed, peaceful and have fun when they're at home.
So, for now, I vow to play.